AgeSmart Blog
Supporting a Caregiver: How to Help When They Say "I'm Fine"
by Robyn Kessler | October 1, 2025
One thing I hear from caregivers again and again is how hard it is to ask for help. Many tell me, “I don’t even know what to ask for.” On the flip side, I often hear from friends and family who want to help but don’t know how. They ask, and the caregiver politely says, “I’m fine” or “I’ll let you know if I need anything.”
The truth? Caregivers often need help desperately but pride, guilt, or simple exhaustion keep them from saying so. Supporters truly want to make a difference, but they need guidance on how to step in.
I’ve seen both sides, and I know how frustrating that can feel. But here’s the good news: support doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, some of the most meaningful help I’ve seen comes in small, simple ways like a daughter offering her dad a break, a neighbor picking up groceries, or a friend folding laundry while they chat.
Go to the blog post to see a few stories that show how powerful thoughtful support can be and if you know someone who is caring for a loved one or someone who wants to support a caregiver, please share this with them. Sometimes the smallest encouragement can make the biggest difference.
The Reluctant Husband
A husband caring for his wife with dementia didn’t want to trouble his kids. When his daughter noticed how worn out he looked, she said:
“Dad, I’d love to spend Saturday afternoon with Mom. Why don’t you take that time for yourself?”
By framing it as something she wanted, not something he needed, he finally agreed.
The Thoughtful Neighbor
One caregiver shared that her neighbor never asked, “Do you need anything?” Instead, she texted: “I’m at the store, what can I grab you?” Sometimes she’d just drop off a meal. It may have seemed small, but to the caregiver, it was a lifeline.
The Loyal Friend
A caregiver’s best friend stopped asking what she needed and simply showed up. Every Friday, she arrived with coffee and folded a load of laundry while they talked. That steady, dependable support gave her something to look forward to each week.
The Takeaway
Caregivers may not always say yes, and they may not ask for help outright. But by offering specific, practical support and continuing to show up, you can give them the gift of rest and the reassurance that they’re not alone.
The truth? Caregivers often need help desperately but pride, guilt, or simple exhaustion keep them from saying so. Supporters truly want to make a difference, but they need guidance on how to step in.
I’ve seen both sides, and I know how frustrating that can feel. But here’s the good news: support doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, some of the most meaningful help I’ve seen comes in small, simple ways like a daughter offering her dad a break, a neighbor picking up groceries, or a friend folding laundry while they chat.
Go to the blog post to see a few stories that show how powerful thoughtful support can be and if you know someone who is caring for a loved one or someone who wants to support a caregiver, please share this with them. Sometimes the smallest encouragement can make the biggest difference.
The Reluctant Husband
A husband caring for his wife with dementia didn’t want to trouble his kids. When his daughter noticed how worn out he looked, she said:
“Dad, I’d love to spend Saturday afternoon with Mom. Why don’t you take that time for yourself?”
By framing it as something she wanted, not something he needed, he finally agreed.
The Thoughtful Neighbor
One caregiver shared that her neighbor never asked, “Do you need anything?” Instead, she texted: “I’m at the store, what can I grab you?” Sometimes she’d just drop off a meal. It may have seemed small, but to the caregiver, it was a lifeline.
The Loyal Friend
A caregiver’s best friend stopped asking what she needed and simply showed up. Every Friday, she arrived with coffee and folded a load of laundry while they talked. That steady, dependable support gave her something to look forward to each week.
The Takeaway
Caregivers may not always say yes, and they may not ask for help outright. But by offering specific, practical support and continuing to show up, you can give them the gift of rest and the reassurance that they’re not alone.