AgeSmart Blog


Ever ask yourself, "What if?"
by Nancy Berry | July 29, 2024


Ever ask yourself, "What if?"

When you are the primary caregiver for a loved one, it’s hard to think about what would happen if you had an accident or sudden illness that prevented you from providing the day-to-day care they need. Take a second to imagine you’re outside getting the mail, you fall and fracture your arm. You’re responsible for the day-to-day care of your husband and now you have to go to the hospital. What is going to happen to him?

If you are fortunate, you will never have to face a comparable scenario, but that does not mean you should not prepare a “Plan B” to ensure your loved one’s needs will be met by others if necessary.

The specifics of what you need to include in your Plan B will vary depending on your situation and the extent to which others are already involved in caring for your loved one. Here are some elements to include, in writing, and to share with others who will need to act on your behalf. A copy should also be kept in a prominent place in the care receiver’s home where emergency personnel can find it. This is especially vital if your care receiver has dementia and could not provide information to them.

Contact Information
- Family members
- Neighbors
- Health care providers
- Anyone who should be advised of the changed circumstances

Specific Care Needs
- Does your loved one need to be fed? Are there meals in the freezer or are meals being delivered? Do they need help microwaving the meals?
- Can they get out of bed or their chair without assistance? If not, how much assistance do they need?
- Are they able to use the bathroom independently? If not, what kind of help do they need?
- Where are their medications kept? What time(s) do they need to take them? Are they cooperative or do they need to be coaxed to take them?
- Can they be left alone? For how long – an hour or two? Overnight? Are they able – physically and cognitively – to call for help?
- What is their cognitive status? If memory or judgment is impaired, explain how to support them as they adjust to your absence.

Care Facility Preferences
- If your support system cannot care for them at home, which care facility would you prefer? List several options, as there is no way to know which will have the capacity to accept your loved one on short notice.

Home Management
- If your loved one moves to a care facility and there is no one else living in your home, who should be notified? Trusted neighbors? Police?
- Do you want the water turned off? Newspaper delivery stopped? Mail held or forwarded?
- Will your support system clean out the refrigerator? Adjust the thermostat?

You may be thinking that you will coach your support system to handle many of these things, but what if you are not able to communicate due to a devastating stroke or sudden death? You may want to advise a trusted relative or friend on where to find important papers and how to pay your bills. This will be simpler if you have Powers of Attorney for both medical and financial matters, both for yourself and the person in your care. Be aware that someone who is your Power of Attorney for financial matters can act on your behalf while you live but are disabled. However, that ability ends with your death. You may want to discuss options with your attorney on how to prepare for this circumstance.

These are difficult things to consider, but it is one more level of care to think through.